I recently had my 6 month check-up at my dentist. Everything is good, no cavities! (yippie!) This dentist I saw was different than the one that did my last check-up and filled out my dental forms, so she didn’t know about my applying to PC.
While I was there, I mentioned something about PC, and she starts going on about fluoride. She tells me to make sure I take toothpaste with fluoride in it because being in a third world country all the water we’ll be drinking will be distilled and filtered and lack natural fluoride we get drinking tap here in America. She was telling me how a lot of people trying to be “health conscious” get all natural toothpastes, but a lot of those types of toothpaste lack fluoride and then these same people are confused when they’re teeth start rotting out.
I use fluoride toothpaste anyway, but I had never even thought that I would have to use fluoride toothpaste because it wasn’t in the water. So I’m passing this wisdom on to all of you! And for those of you who do like all natural toothpastes and such, Tom’s does make toothpaste with and without fluoride, so just make sure you get some with fluoride, okie dokie?
On to fears…
I thought I would post my top five fears about PC and if you want I’d like to hear what other people are most afraid of, so please feel free to comment with your fears.
My Peace Corps Fears:
1. The HEAT… If I do indeed go to Africa, I am seriously concerned about my ability to handle the heat there. I read a lot of Benin and Mali blogs and right now Chaleur (the hottest season) is upon them, they talk about the suffocating 106 degree heat that you can’t escape from. One blogger describes it:
It’s hard to really describe chaleur. Because that’s all it is, hot. I can’t even tell you what temperature it gets to because I don’t have a thermometer, I also don’t really want to know half the time. The only way to give you the picture of what it feels like is to describe how I feel. While all it is, is hot. It gets so hot you can’t cook, don’t have any desire to eat/ move, and you also can’t sleep it’s so hot. Before coming to Benin never in my life had I ever gotten so hot I was literally dripping with sweat, or had a completely soaked t-shirt due to perspiration. The only thing to do is find the coolest place you can, lay down and drink water. Beyond that you body screams at you. A favorite thing of mine to do during this time is dunk my clothes in water and put them back on. I then go and lay on my concrete floor with the fan on and read. I still feel like I’m melting, but at a slower rate than before. There is no breeze and houses become like ovens and stay that way well into the night. You walk outside and it feels like you’ve hit a wall when you come into the sunlight. I’ve often times felt like I couldn’t breath when I made the transition. -mperry421
I’m a huge heat wimp… so that scares me big time! 
2. Strange sickness. Now, I’m not talking about things I expect, like diarrhea, dysentery, or even amoebas and intestinal worms.. Even though I’m not looking forward to those I know they will happen. What scares me are things like human botfly larvae living in my skin, or malaria (although that fear is waning), worms in my feet, or some other parasite I will have forever. THAT freaks me out. Number one thing on my To Do list before I leave: stop biting finger nails! That will be some crazy bacteria infection just waiting to happen.
3. Seeing death. I’ve never really seen a dead person before. The only real funeral I’ve been to the body was cremated. Being in a third world country and in a small village I know that I will face death in many forms and I am scared about that. I remember reading one PCV, Catherine’s, blog and she was talking about being in a car driving past an accident where there were dead bodies laying around on the ground and in the cars, all broken, limp and awkward. It was a graphic image to picture and made me realize I may too witness a lot of death during my service. I hope I will be strong enough when that time comes.
Another post about death is Jake in Belize, he describes how death is viewed in his village.
4. Food. Food. Food. Do any of you watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimern? Well, I was watching an episode the other day where he was in Tanzania and the locals were drinking cows blood mixed with fresh milk… *gag* then they drank old, rotten, chunky milk.. *double gag* Oh my… I just don’t know about blood… And then when Andrew was walking the streets in a market there were animal heads and such just sitting out. I dunno.. I hope I can be adventurous when the time comes and that I don’t offend any one too much if I barf, but I do not like the idea of drinking blood or eating things like intestines and brains… ew. ew. ew.
5. Language. I took French in high school all 4 years; however, that was 5 years ago! I’m doing some at-home studying and I’m taking a 1 credit hour conversational course at a local community college that is 3 hours, once a week for 4 weeks in April. But I’m still worried about fluency. With French I can generally read it well and get the gist of what someone is saying if they speak slow, but for me to speak it, I struggle. I’m sure I will get the hang of it when it is all anyone speaks, but I also fear having to learn another language. Many Francophone countries have villages that speak another language. And what if I get invited to a completely different place where my French experience will be null? *sigh* I just fear I will never be fluent in whatever language(s) I will have to speak.
So those are my top five fears, care to share at least one of yours?
My dentist was talking all about the flouride thing too
Hmmmm….my fears…
1. Not liking my job assignment
2. Being lonely/Not making friends
3. Food
4. Language
5. Diseases
I think most of them are similar but mine are as follows:
1) My impact.
People say the greatest thing they got from this experience is not what they did but how it impacted them. Well that’s great but I could go to a monastery in Tibet for that, I kinda want to actually help other people. I read all of these blogs about everyone being bored and not having a lot to do or about how they feel like they aren’t really getting anything done. I am scared that will happen to me. I mean sometimes it isn’t due to lack of trying on the volunteer’s part. It just happens.
2) Language.
This fear is two fold. One, I am afraid my lack of language skills now (I take Latin) will hinder my placement. Two, I suck at learning languages. I have taken German, Spanish, and French all in college and switched after the first semester because I felt like I didn’t learn anything. I mean you have to pass a language test to stay in the program. Plus, even if I do pass, I am worried I will not be able to talk to anyone and everyone will stop trying and I will become isolated because I am the dumb American who cannot learn languages.
3) Housing. No I am not afraid of having no water or power. It is the fact that since I am nominated for Central Asia I am most likely going to be living with a host family for my entire service and that worries me. I mean I think it is going to be hard for me to be completely at home in someone’s home. Plus, from blogs that I have read disagreements with host families are very likely and frequent changing of houses happen and that just seems like no fun.
4) Diseases. Only that I will catch something so bad I get sent home. I catch things easily.
5) Toilet situation. Okay not that it may be a hole in the ground but that it will be outside. I pee a lot. I go a lot at night too and having to go outside to do my business at night seems a little scary and also afraid my host family will think my frequent bathroom breaks are weird. What if they lock up at night? Am I going to need a special key cause I have a tiny bladder?
Oh man, yes, my impact is a daunting thought for me too. Most ppl who know me don’t question my motives for PC but I know some ppl think a lot of ppl join to just go to a different country for free (which, honestly, that is probably the case with some applicants); however, that is not me and I also would like to know I’m making a difference, even if it’s a small one. It’s hard though reading PCV’s blogs and how sometimes it’s not even really their fault that nothing is happening. I really enjoyed this one guy’s theories about changing PC in Benin to be more effective, check it out: http://tonyinbeninpcv.blogspot.com/2010/03/if-i-was-in-charge-of-peace-corps-benin.html
Also, the toilet situation, I concur! Although it is not one of my greatest fear, I really do not like the idea of walking outside to go to the bathroom. I would be totally ok with a hole in the ground latrine if it were some how attach or VERY close to my house. lol I guess none of us know until we get there. I saw one guy’s house tour in Benin and he had a real toilet and shower!
You just never know…
Oh great question! My top fears are diseases (particularly getting diarrhea all the time since I have a sensitive stomach), not fitting in with the community or my counterpart and seeing a lot of death since I am working in a health program. I am introverted so I’m also a little worried about getting overwhelmed with all of the attention a foreigner may get in Africa.
I also have worries about making an impact. There are a significant amount of resources going to support us and fund our work as volunteers, even though we don’t get a paycheck per se. And you hope that for all of that, you’ll be able to do something that’s actually sustainable for the community. For a lot of reasons, this is difficult and frustrating–the pace of life and things getting done in other places, the cultural adjustment factor, so many other things can present challenges to volunteer impact that wouldn’t necessarily be the case volunteering in the US.
I guess the way I have come to think about it is, it’s the small successes that come to matter in a setting like this. One person will probably not singlehandedly overhaul a village’s access to health care or send ten girls to university, but if you can get one person to think a little differently about their child’s nutrition, or get a young girl to believe in her potential…these are things that DO matter. That’s what grassroots change is about…starting small. I think it’s definitely going to be hard dealing with feelings of uselessness (especially with the Type-A idealists that Peace Corps volunteers often are), but I’m hoping that I can balance this drive to create real change with the knowledge that change takes time and can’t always be seen.
Ha funny about our birthday wishes! I hope they both come true but yours is more likely to considering your nomination is earlier but I can dream. Anywho happy early b-day!!
Ashleigh you have completely touched on most of my biggest fears. HEAT being a huge one! But some of the ones I’m most worried about are
1) Communicating- I’m misunderstood in English as it is, now
I have to expect people to get my humor in another
2) Slow Progress with my assignment
3) GETTING SICK- I rarely ever get sick and when I do it feels
like the end of the world! NOT looking forward to it.
4) Romantic Relationships-Will I last for 27months? And if not, what will the cultural barriers be and will it affect my assignment?
5) Coming Home- I hear PC changes people. I’m a little worried about coming back to the U.S. and interacting with family and friends. So much happens in 2 years.
Also, I wouldn’t worry so much about having an impact. From my understanding, by interacting and being visible within our host country we’ll manage to change minds, paradigms, and shape lives. :/
I’m glad I’m not the only one getting squeamish about the heat. My mom is like, “You’re such a baby when you’re hot!” And my dad says, “Everyone is going to stink!” lol but in the end I always say, “How do I know I can’t handle it until I try? I can’t just not go cuz I’m afraid of the heat.” Hopefully we both can push through it!
You’re fears ring home to me too. I am currently in a relationship and we have decided to try to stay together, but I still worry about the distance and then that length of time being alone is going to be really hard. Hopefully it will all work out. Hey and maybe you’ll bring home a hott African man! lol There’s a group on PC Connect (http://community.peacecorpsconnect.org/) of people who married host country nationals! Crazy… but you never know what will happen I guess!
Coming home is a big thing for me to. Especially when thinking about my current relationship. I know I won’t be the same, I’ll have a whole new perspective and outlook on life. It’s just a matter of how it affects my life in the US. Plus the home cultural shock I hear is worse than your site. I had a friend who lived in India for most her life and when she finally came home to the US, her first trip to Walmart she cried and ran out. She said not only was it so much excess but it was so clean! She was used to stores having dirt floors and goats walking around. Weird..
Ok, so I really wasn’t thinking about my fears… but, yeah,
1) contracting a life-long desiese would be a real bummer and/or loosing my teeth! Shoot, getting worms & lice would make good stories & are part of the experience, right? jk!
2) i would be heart broken if suddenly i discovered that becoming PCV is not the fulfillment of my dream & that it is NOT what i want to do with my life…& that i left everything behind
3) death: if a family member died while i was gone.
4) if i did something stupid like: get drink too much & do something stupid ***which is why I will NOT drink as a volunteer
5) if I come back & can’t get my job back, or A job at all while i wait to apply to grad school